Words hurt

With our words we build people up and we tear them down. We make joyful noises and curse the very air we breath. Our tongue is so small yet and can cause such problems. We hurt our friends, enemies, and even strangers with it. I remember my mom always used to say "If you don't got nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all." I am sure others mom's said that too. Then we got to kindergarten and they said, "Think before you speak." Maybe we just ignore them all that much. James 3:3-12 "3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." Look at verse 8, our tongue is a deadly poison, wow that is powerful.

The tongue is so small but it causes the greatest damage at times. I know I especially have a hard time letting go of awful things that have been said to me. People tell me to let it go but it is much easier said then done. Those things don't get forgotten, but I try to forgive. In my low points those cruel hurtful words come back to haunt me. I know my flaws, I don't need the reminder. I am not perfect but someday I will be.

I like to do artsy stuff and its how I releave certain emotions. I painted this one day when I was really low. It wasn't until I finnished that I saw I had written the word "Pain." See if you can find it. So often we try to hide the pain caused by others. Its just easier I guess, but its not good to do. I have a tendancy to if it gets to bad, I shut myself off. It just ends up hurting others as well as myself and it isn't healthy. Talk about it. We all have that friend that will listen to us no matter what. So talk to them or anyone. Just be careful and make sure they are trustworthy. Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment and tell me what you think or what you'd like to hear.

Inner Beauty

I don't know if it is just me, but I hate the term "To get a girl." Like when a guy just wants to "pick up chicks" Are we just something for your pleasure? We are much more than that. I do see where some guys get that thought from. Those girls who dress in tight revealing skimpy clothes, make it easy for them. Some say its very hard to be modest in the world we live in. I would say that is true, but its not impossible. I'm not asking people to go and dress like this.

That isn't super cute so honestly no girl wants to wear that. I found that image on google,just so you know. I typed in "modest women." I do however know some people who would look at that and say she is very immodest. Her hair is showing, a girl should wear a bonnet. Okay now with that statement, where does a girl get a bonnet... Do they even make them still? Ah the Internet never fails me. You can always find what your looking for on eBay. SO now we know how to dress. Long skirts, loose tops, and a nice bonnet to hide your flowing locks. Okay yeah, that's not very cute. I am trying to make that sound appealing, but in fact it only make it worse. We live in the 21st century. I think any one who has opened a magazine or watched tv can figure out what people find to be "hot." The saying if you got it flaunt it, isn't good.

I personally would say this is modest and cute. In the winter time its much easier to dress modestly. We can wear sweaters and scarves and cute leggings and jeans. There is much debate on the modesty or immodesty of leggings but I won't go into that right now. Beauty should be found in the heart.

Beauty should be found on the inside. Outer beauty fades but a beautiful heart won't. What is it worth if when your 16 and look beautiful on the outside but then on the inside you are ugly. When your 60, you may not be so beautiful on thee out side and you don't want your inside to match that. True beauty shows from within.

Feel free to leave your comments. I would appreciate them. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed.

Sleep

Sleep is a good thing, in fact its one of those things I only need more of. Today's post isn't the best, but I guess it could always be worse. So I am gonna talk about sleep. Doctors recommend you go to bed and wake up at the same time and get at least 8 hours of sleep. Can I get a head count of how many that actually do that? I can honestly say I don't. One night I'll go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 5:30 am then the next night I'll go to bed at 9:30 and wake up at 7:30. So I don't think that's good for me. I guess it depends how late I stay up texting. wait, I would never do that.... Okay maybe a few times....or every night.... Its better than being on drugs.... I think. I wouldn't know.... I don't want to know. Okay well so long for now. Comment your thoughts or ideas for posts. I'll be sure to read them.

Beauty

what is it? Is it have big boobs and being twig thin? walking around in a a top too small that practically shows it all and low rise shorts that barely cover your butt? Honestly that doesn't sound beautiful. As women we don't want men to lust after our bodies and not care about who we are. True beauty is within. Its not about your bra size or what size you wear. Females often have low self esteem due to the way we are brought up. I am a huge fan of Disney princess movies, but I hate to admit that they do say things that maybe they shouldn't. These things were things I didn't notice when I was younger, or the first time I saw them. In the Little mermaid, Ursula offers to give Ariel legs, at the cost of her voice. Ariel then decides to ask how can she win the guy she loves over with out her voice. Ursula then proceeds to tell her to use her body. Flaunt it, Ariel is a pretty girl, she can use it. That is an awful message to send to little girls. They should value their bodies. We are not some object used only for man's pleasure. So often we don't notice hidden messages, and we aren't supposed to. They find a way into our minds to brainwash us into believing things. Also look at Hollywood and the famous people. Most of them are thin and have a decent size chest. Always getting plastic surgery to look young and "beautiful." So this was just some thoughts. Our modern day idea of beauty is flawed. This is just something I painted last night because our idea of beauty is so twisted and broken, it's not even beauty any more.

comment your opinions. thanks

Christmas

Ah it is Christmas. A wonderful time of the year. Carolers singing, snow, giving gifts to loved ones, but why do we celebrate it. 2000 years ago a Savior was born. The one who would change the world. The Messiah. The king of kings, born in a manger. wait, that can't be right. Kings are born in extravagant palaces surrounded by precious jewels. This king that was born is named Jesus. He was born in a stable, because their was no room in the inn. Some refuse to find room in their lives for him. His own people rejected him. The savior of the world, unwanted. But why? He fulfilled all the prophecies, but they didn't want him. He wasn't "good enough." A king over all. They expected someone to take over the Roman rule, but that wasn't why he came. He didn't come to save them from harsh leaders, but to save them from their sins. The savior of the world was born into to a humble home. His earthly father, Joseph, was a Carpenter. His mother Mary was a humble servant of the Lord. They were who God chose to raise his son. Luke 2:1-21 "In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register. 4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. 8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” 13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” 15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” 16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. 21 On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived."

An Essay: Pride and Prejudice:How Women were Viewed in the 18th and 19th Century

The women of 1700-1800 England had were expected to get married, produce children, and take care of the home. They were valued as much less than the women of the twenty-first century. The women of the eighteenth and nineteenth century had very little value and couldn’t do much. We often romanticize everything, even the way women were treated of this time. Our thoughts of this time were not necessarily true. A woman's role was basically the same for every lady of that time. Jane Austen shows well of how women were viewed and their role at the time. To be a women during the this time period were very much like the lives of a slaves. A female is never her own person, from the time they are born until they are married they belong to their fathers. If her father was to die, then she would be at the hands of another male relative. When they marry they become their husbands."An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do." (Mr Bennet, Ch. 20) A married woman is not her own. Everything she has belongs to him including her body. Her husband is free to take anything from her. He wants something, she must do it. Women were thought of to be more like property. If she were to run away, she’d be considered a thief for taking the clothes on her back as well as herself. Then when tried in court, well she wouldn’t get a trial. Women were thought of as the cause of sin, due to eating the forbidden fruit and then tricking man to do so also. Her husband could beat her if he wanted and it was considered legal and perfectly fine. In fact it a man must rebuke his wife in which ever way he pleases if she was to do anything wrong. An old saying is that the stick that he would use to beat her couldn’t be thicker than his thumb. He was her legal guardian, so he had a right to any part of her. Women had no formal rights at all. They didn’t even have the rights we think of as rights we must have. She is not her own. The main role of women was to get married and to reproduce. The average age to get married at this time was sixteen, but could be be married as early as thirteen. The older a lady got the slimmer her chances of getting married becomes. If a woman reaches the age the twenty-five, she is considered a spinster and will most likely not find a husband. It would be possible to get married, but you had to have something special about yourself. The younger a lady was, the more years of reproducing could occur. Men could marry at generally at any age and it was socially acceptable. It was very possible for a man who was in his forties to marry a thirteen year old girl. The main concept of marriage to them was to produce an heir. Other than for children, People often married for economic benefits verses of getting married for love. Love wasn’t needed for a marriage. Maybe the male “loved” or was infatuated with a female. Sadly however a ladies happiness wasn’t important. “Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life." "You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself." (Charlotte Lucas and Lizzy; Ch. 6) Her father has most control over who she marries. A girl could have many suitors calling after her but it wouldn’t be until her father approved that she could begin a courtship let alone a end up married to him “ It will be no use to us, if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them." (Mrs. Bennet to Mr. Bennett Ch. 1) Once a woman is married she is considered legally dead and becomes one with her husband. The Bible even says that when a man and a woman marry they become one. It does not say that she dies. At this time, she would be as good as dead. Her rights were slim and to speak out about anything would only cause harm to herself and disgrace her father. Also all of her inheritance goes to her husband and she has no jurisdiction of any of it.If he was to die she couldn’t receive all of it. She would be given ⅓ of it at most. That is if she didn’t have children. The aspect of children would change the situation for either better or worse. The role of the women in the home was not an easy task, especially if you were not of the wealthy . Those who were poor had to take care of all the work. She would be forced to have working a job, such as a trade or working as a servant. If she choose not to her family would be sure to suffer. She’d have to live without the luxuries that she craved in hopes to create a better future for her children. Every mother wanted better for their children. To be a mother was a full time job and then to take on a job as well made for a hard life. The wealthy had servants to help them with all of their many tasks and often had governess to educate and take care of the children for them. If you could not afford a governess or a servant, you were forced to educate and care for your children as well as take care of the home. Most who could not afford a governess choose not to educate their children or they would send their children off to a private school. There is much controversy on what really happened at those schools. Some believe that the schools promoted homosexuality which at the time was a crime punishable by death. It was also believe that to keep so many young ladies or men made them crave sexual desires more than if they were near each other. However there is no clear cut evidence of such a thing. Education however was very important and to have your children educated made your family appear more important or valued in society. Taking care of the home meant that it would be tidy and well organized. With that being said it had to be kept in her husbands standard of cleanliness, not her own. There is much more to keeping the home in order than just the cleanliness value. The wealthy often had servants to complete this task along with many others for them. Taking care of the home also included taking care of not only your sick children but other sick relatives. The woman(mother or eldest daughter if the mother is ill or deceased) of the household was expected to nurture the helpless, which are the very young and the very old. When parent, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. were to reach and age in which they could no longer take care of themselves properly, they moved in with their children or closest family relative. The woman of the household was then given the extra task of keeping them happy and taking care of them. It could be proven to be quite the chore. As well as the task of being a mother she was expected to socialize her children and to introduce them to religion. With that being said, she must consider herself to be religious. A good wife stood by her church and agree what her husband said, no matter what they taught or believed. She was not allowed to ever speak against it. If she were to do so, her husband would be ridiculed among others as a weak man and believe that he could not properly fill his husbandly duties. A husband is expect to control his wife. A mother must keep her children from showing signs of delinquent behavior. Rebuking was good because no one wanted to be a mother of a rebellious child. Rebellious children were frowned upon and any lady of the upper class wouldn’t want a rebellious son. He would only shame his father. Women were expected to prepare the food for the entire family. They were expected to come up with something even if they had virtually no food. Her husband was expected to provide food and she was expected to prepare it. The meals they ate varied from each class. The wealthier class had most anything they wanted. In fact the mother didn’t have to prepare it if she had a servant. The clothing that was worn was made by countless hours of women working on their stitchwork. People often times underestimate how much work it truly is. For example a skilled seamstress would spend a minimum of 6 hours on a simple dress for a grown lady. Sewing by hand was a tedious task but it needed to be done. Women of every class knew how to sew and it was important. To not be able to sew well took away from a woman's value. Thus many girls spent hours perfecting their stitchwork.To makeit to a ripe old age was truely an acheivement. It was hard between exhaustion and disease. By the time a woman was thirty, even if she wasn’t married, she was extremely exhausted. No matter what, these women worked hard, even though the housework and child raising was not considered work. To say these women are not as hardworking as men, is a lie. They worked sun up to sun down, every day. They often didn’t just have work outside the home, but inside as well. Women worked hard. Many feared premature birth or stillbirth. The birthing process could be deadly, so when a child was born dead, it was very heartbreaking. It was often looked on like wasted process. The mother could easily die while giving birth to a child who would not make it. To give birth to a child who died shortly after or was born dead and for the woman to die was heartbreaking for the family. When giving birth a woman was usually around other female friends and family. Maybe a midwife if wealthy enough. Her husband would be informed his wife was going into labor, but he continued with his daily tasks as if nothing was going on. He would only be summoned when his wife was done giving birth to see the child or if his wife was going to die. Even for those circumstances, a husband was not guaranteed to come. The wealthy were not immune to the possibility of death but were slightly at less of a risk. The wealthy were more likely to have highly skilled midwives and had more medicines offered to them. When giving birth, a woman is not allowed to complain. She must accept the pain as part of the curse brought on from Eve’s sin. The pain of childbirth is because of sin, but should not be looked at as if it was nothing, It was a deadly process. A woman with child was expected to give birth as if it was no big deal, and not something important. A mother must never mention that her child or children are hard to love to anyone. Children were such a blessing, so they were not allowed to say anything that was even slightly negative about it. A mother who claimed she didn’t or could not love her child was deemed as insane and often sent away. These days a mother can do that, it's heartbreaking, but becoming more thought of as normal, To practice contraception was considered a sin and a good wife did not use it. All normal women (women who are not prostitutes in this case) were not allowed to claim they enjoy sex. It did not matter which class they were from, this applied to them all. Those who do claim to enjoy sex were labeled as unnatural because it is meant only for breeding purposes. A man was allowed to enjoy sex and was free to do it with his wife and other women. A wife was not allowed to have sex with a man who is not her husband. Also if a woman found herself pregnant and didn’t want the child, she was not allowed to have an abortion. The only reason a woman would not want a child is the possibility of death from childbirth. According to the church of the time, and the bible, abortion is wrong and seen as murder. The Bible still says it is wrong but our culture thinks differently. These days anyone can do it and it fine and understood. When men are in search of a wife they want her to be of the same class, but not higher than them. To choose a wife from a higher class is degrading to a man and his pride.“They were in fact very fine ladies; not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of making themselves agreeable when they chose it, but proud and conceited. They were rather handsome, had been educated in one of the first private seminaries in town, had a fortune of twenty thousand pounds, were in the habit of spending more than they ought, and of associating with people of rank, and were therefore in every respect entitled to think well of themselves, and meanly of others. They were of a respectable family in the north of England; a circumstance more deeply impressed on their memories than that their brother's fortune and their own had been acquired by trade” (Ch.4) It was acceptable for a man to marry a woman of a lower class but it took away from her value. A woman of a lower class was considered far less than a woman of high stature. "Indeed, Jane, you ought to believe me. No one who has ever seen you together can doubt his affection. Miss Bingley, I am sure, cannot. She is not such a simpleton. Could she have seen half as much love in Mr. Darcy for herself, she would have ordered her wedding clothes. But the case is this: We are not rich enough or grand enough for them" (Elizabeth Bennet Ch. 21) Wealthier women were more likely to marry for love, as long as he was in the same class. Even those of the wealthy class still rarely married for love. To marry for love was a dream that many desired but put aside the desire to appease others wishes. Marriage was a way to gain social standing. A women who were educated were viewed as more desired, because the majority of 18th century women were uneducated. Thus being educated made a female like a prised jewel. Women of nobility, the upper, and middle class were educated, because educating was expensive and not everyone could afford it. Some were educated by their mothers but that didn’t happen as much as it should of. It was easier to hire a governess or send your daughter away for education. The rumors from boarding schools turned many away from sending their daughters there. Thus a Governess was more likely. The women of those classes were able to read, write, speak numerous languages, play an instrument, and were trained in the art of becoming a lady. Every man of the wealthy classes wanted not just a woman but a lady. A lady had to knew everything from being a hostess to being able to properly care for her children. To be educated wasn’t for her benefit, but so that she might be more appealing and more men might want her. Every mother hoped a man who was higher in society would want her daughter. While a man is looking for a wife, he wants someone who is young, but will be able to bear children. If she is unable to bear children, then a man sees no reason for marrying her. The whole point of marriage at that time was to reproduce, or so viewed by society. She should also be decent looking. A man wants a beautiful wife or at least one that every other man envies.”Occupied in observing Mr. Bingley's attentions to her sister, Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend. Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face, then he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing; and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness. Of this she was perfectly unaware; to her he was only the man who made himself agreeable nowhere, and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with.” (Ch. 6) Men wanted a woman who was good enough for him. It looks like the need to appease impossible standards has always been around for women. Each mans standards were slightly different but basically the same. A man wanted a woman who was silent, but when she does speak, it is eloquent. Part of training to become a lady involved learning when to speak and how to speak. Those of higher classes, whether male or female, should have a larger vocabulary than those who are of a lower class and not as highly educated. A christian woman is wanted. She needs to let her love of God be known. She will stand by her husband through what ever he may say. If it goes against what she believes, she still must obey him and must never speak against him. A good wife is wise, but not wise as wise as men. She is not meant to teach but should be wise enough so that she doesn’t get into a trouble. Men are ultimately wiser and know more than women, or so thought of during that time frame. I do believe a man should be wiser than his wife but it doesn’t always happen that way. Women who were known as troublemakers or who are rebellious were frowned upon. Men wanted a woman who was behaved and easily controlled. Women who are troublesome must be punished, along with her husband for not being able to control her. Men were free to have sex with whomever they wanted, but they did not want a wife who had been touched by another man. Only prostitutes were allowed to sleep around and even they had a few problems because of it. A woman who has had sex with a man who is not her husband, was greatly frowned upon and could be punished. A man, however could sleep with women before and even during his marriage and it would be no issue according to society. Around 5-7% ob children were born without a father. The father either didn’t know about them or choose not to see them. A girl with a large dowry was favored over one with a small or no dowery. To remain single, she would be made fun of and pitied by all of those around her. Women who choose not to marry were usually prostitutes or servants. Very few had a different trade. Prostitutes received a lot of money and valuable items. In London there was around 10,000 prostitutes ranging from amateur to professional. When you think of them your first thought is that they were social outcasts, but that is wrong. Some were considered an outcast but it didn’t always occur. Marrying a prostitute however, was considered socially unacceptable. To have a mistress was easily accepted though. Wives didn’t like there husband’s having mistress’s but they had no say in the matter and could not divorce her husband. To be a servant was more frowned upon then prostitutes and were mainly from the lower class. It was hard work as a servant, work was tight and difficult at times. They cleaned houses, washed and mended clothes, while looking after any children then had to bring with them. Widows had the choice to either remarry or not remarry. When her husband died, only a small portion of his wealth, was given to her if he didn’t have any heirs. At most she was given ⅓ of what her husband owned. If her husband had children, then the inheritance would be divided between them or given to the eldest. Those who choose not to remarry were usually supported by their kids, but if that wasn’t an option they would be forced to take up a trade or find some way to receive an income. Often it was needlework or becoming a servant if that desperate. Rich widows were much better provided for than those of any lower class. On average, 35% of women remarried within nine months of his death. Most widows remarried if they could, so they would have someone to provide for them. Women had little to no value during the eighteenth and nineteenth century. They were expected to do so much and to receive no thanks. In fact some of the things they had to do they had no choice in doing so. Men could sleep around and do whatever they pleased as long as they could supply something for the family. Women couldn’t sleep around, and were expected to do so much. Women had a huge role, but got no recognition for it. It was expected of them. To not do so, they would be punished. Whether married or unmarried, life was not easy. We often think they didn’t have it too bad. Most like to think that it was hard, but easily bearable. If I was to be placed in that time, I probably wouldn’t make it. If I was raised then, I wouldn’t know any differently. I’m so thankful to be born in the twenty-first century.

Poem: Show Me Your Wonders

Take me to the sea, its where I want to be, to feel close to you. Let me know what is true. I hear the waves as they bathe the ocean floor. May all I think be pure. Take me to the woods, to know what is good. Bring me closer to you. Show me something new. Listen to the birds. They praise all of your words. Take me to see the sand. Each grain was formed by your hand. Lord, let me know you. Show me what to do. The ant so small even knows you own it all Take me to the rain, let it wash away all my pain. Teach me to trust in you in all I do. One drop at a time, you wash away all the grime. Take me to see all of your wonders from way up high to down under. I want you. Make me new. O Lord, train me to save the lost and not care what it might cost. Take me to the least of these. Let us fall to our knees. Let us know you. Make us new. Let your truth be known because we are not yet grown. We need you O Lord. Show us your word. Show us what is true and that we may belong to you.

A dream: to heaven and back

So the other night I had a rather interesting dream. I guess you wouldn't mind hearing it. If you don't want to read it you don't have to. So before I start I'll give you a brief bit of background information. I am a christian. I'd like to say I am strong christian, but every time I start to go an say that, I start to really stumble. so my dream for all of you who have been waiting. So my family and I were vacationing in Mississippi( I have no idea why there) and we were heading some where. We got in a car and started to drive. It was a long drive and then a car started coming towards ours and then the next thing I knew was that I saw a light and a hard reaching out of it. I felt the need to hold onto the hand so I reached out and grabbed it. The hand pulled me and then I saw my grampy(he died in 2009) but he didn't look like he did when I knew him. His hair wasn't white, his glasses were gone, he didn't have a big belly. It was weird. I also so my grandma who died a year ago, but instead of the grey hair her hair was brown. Her back was straight instead of being hunched over. I felt a sense of peace and full of love. No worry or trouble. I was safe. I was home. I then returned back home, I don't remember how. My parents were so happy. they had said I had been in a coma for a few hours and showed no sign of waking up. The accident was all over TV. I checked my phone and it was full of texts from my bf asking if I was ok and if it was my family in the accident. He was scared and worried. I assured him that I was alright. It was my family who was in the crash., It was an interesting dream. I don't know if death is really like that, but we have no way to know. It is easy to say it might be, but what about those who don't believe? I have read 90 minutes in heaven as well as Heaven is for real. I read those books about 2 years ago , so its not like they are fresh on my mind. I guess I would have to do more research, but then again no one will know until the time comes. we will all die eventually and on the day of judgement, all will be revealed. We won't be able to run from our sins.