An Essay: Pride and Prejudice:How Women were Viewed in the 18th and 19th Century

The women of 1700-1800 England had were expected to get married, produce children, and take care of the home. They were valued as much less than the women of the twenty-first century. The women of the eighteenth and nineteenth century had very little value and couldn’t do much. We often romanticize everything, even the way women were treated of this time. Our thoughts of this time were not necessarily true. A woman's role was basically the same for every lady of that time. Jane Austen shows well of how women were viewed and their role at the time. To be a women during the this time period were very much like the lives of a slaves. A female is never her own person, from the time they are born until they are married they belong to their fathers. If her father was to die, then she would be at the hands of another male relative. When they marry they become their husbands."An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do." (Mr Bennet, Ch. 20) A married woman is not her own. Everything she has belongs to him including her body. Her husband is free to take anything from her. He wants something, she must do it. Women were thought of to be more like property. If she were to run away, she’d be considered a thief for taking the clothes on her back as well as herself. Then when tried in court, well she wouldn’t get a trial. Women were thought of as the cause of sin, due to eating the forbidden fruit and then tricking man to do so also. Her husband could beat her if he wanted and it was considered legal and perfectly fine. In fact it a man must rebuke his wife in which ever way he pleases if she was to do anything wrong. An old saying is that the stick that he would use to beat her couldn’t be thicker than his thumb. He was her legal guardian, so he had a right to any part of her. Women had no formal rights at all. They didn’t even have the rights we think of as rights we must have. She is not her own. The main role of women was to get married and to reproduce. The average age to get married at this time was sixteen, but could be be married as early as thirteen. The older a lady got the slimmer her chances of getting married becomes. If a woman reaches the age the twenty-five, she is considered a spinster and will most likely not find a husband. It would be possible to get married, but you had to have something special about yourself. The younger a lady was, the more years of reproducing could occur. Men could marry at generally at any age and it was socially acceptable. It was very possible for a man who was in his forties to marry a thirteen year old girl. The main concept of marriage to them was to produce an heir. Other than for children, People often married for economic benefits verses of getting married for love. Love wasn’t needed for a marriage. Maybe the male “loved” or was infatuated with a female. Sadly however a ladies happiness wasn’t important. “Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life." "You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself." (Charlotte Lucas and Lizzy; Ch. 6) Her father has most control over who she marries. A girl could have many suitors calling after her but it wouldn’t be until her father approved that she could begin a courtship let alone a end up married to him “ It will be no use to us, if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them." (Mrs. Bennet to Mr. Bennett Ch. 1) Once a woman is married she is considered legally dead and becomes one with her husband. The Bible even says that when a man and a woman marry they become one. It does not say that she dies. At this time, she would be as good as dead. Her rights were slim and to speak out about anything would only cause harm to herself and disgrace her father. Also all of her inheritance goes to her husband and she has no jurisdiction of any of it.If he was to die she couldn’t receive all of it. She would be given ⅓ of it at most. That is if she didn’t have children. The aspect of children would change the situation for either better or worse. The role of the women in the home was not an easy task, especially if you were not of the wealthy . Those who were poor had to take care of all the work. She would be forced to have working a job, such as a trade or working as a servant. If she choose not to her family would be sure to suffer. She’d have to live without the luxuries that she craved in hopes to create a better future for her children. Every mother wanted better for their children. To be a mother was a full time job and then to take on a job as well made for a hard life. The wealthy had servants to help them with all of their many tasks and often had governess to educate and take care of the children for them. If you could not afford a governess or a servant, you were forced to educate and care for your children as well as take care of the home. Most who could not afford a governess choose not to educate their children or they would send their children off to a private school. There is much controversy on what really happened at those schools. Some believe that the schools promoted homosexuality which at the time was a crime punishable by death. It was also believe that to keep so many young ladies or men made them crave sexual desires more than if they were near each other. However there is no clear cut evidence of such a thing. Education however was very important and to have your children educated made your family appear more important or valued in society. Taking care of the home meant that it would be tidy and well organized. With that being said it had to be kept in her husbands standard of cleanliness, not her own. There is much more to keeping the home in order than just the cleanliness value. The wealthy often had servants to complete this task along with many others for them. Taking care of the home also included taking care of not only your sick children but other sick relatives. The woman(mother or eldest daughter if the mother is ill or deceased) of the household was expected to nurture the helpless, which are the very young and the very old. When parent, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. were to reach and age in which they could no longer take care of themselves properly, they moved in with their children or closest family relative. The woman of the household was then given the extra task of keeping them happy and taking care of them. It could be proven to be quite the chore. As well as the task of being a mother she was expected to socialize her children and to introduce them to religion. With that being said, she must consider herself to be religious. A good wife stood by her church and agree what her husband said, no matter what they taught or believed. She was not allowed to ever speak against it. If she were to do so, her husband would be ridiculed among others as a weak man and believe that he could not properly fill his husbandly duties. A husband is expect to control his wife. A mother must keep her children from showing signs of delinquent behavior. Rebuking was good because no one wanted to be a mother of a rebellious child. Rebellious children were frowned upon and any lady of the upper class wouldn’t want a rebellious son. He would only shame his father. Women were expected to prepare the food for the entire family. They were expected to come up with something even if they had virtually no food. Her husband was expected to provide food and she was expected to prepare it. The meals they ate varied from each class. The wealthier class had most anything they wanted. In fact the mother didn’t have to prepare it if she had a servant. The clothing that was worn was made by countless hours of women working on their stitchwork. People often times underestimate how much work it truly is. For example a skilled seamstress would spend a minimum of 6 hours on a simple dress for a grown lady. Sewing by hand was a tedious task but it needed to be done. Women of every class knew how to sew and it was important. To not be able to sew well took away from a woman's value. Thus many girls spent hours perfecting their stitchwork.To makeit to a ripe old age was truely an acheivement. It was hard between exhaustion and disease. By the time a woman was thirty, even if she wasn’t married, she was extremely exhausted. No matter what, these women worked hard, even though the housework and child raising was not considered work. To say these women are not as hardworking as men, is a lie. They worked sun up to sun down, every day. They often didn’t just have work outside the home, but inside as well. Women worked hard. Many feared premature birth or stillbirth. The birthing process could be deadly, so when a child was born dead, it was very heartbreaking. It was often looked on like wasted process. The mother could easily die while giving birth to a child who would not make it. To give birth to a child who died shortly after or was born dead and for the woman to die was heartbreaking for the family. When giving birth a woman was usually around other female friends and family. Maybe a midwife if wealthy enough. Her husband would be informed his wife was going into labor, but he continued with his daily tasks as if nothing was going on. He would only be summoned when his wife was done giving birth to see the child or if his wife was going to die. Even for those circumstances, a husband was not guaranteed to come. The wealthy were not immune to the possibility of death but were slightly at less of a risk. The wealthy were more likely to have highly skilled midwives and had more medicines offered to them. When giving birth, a woman is not allowed to complain. She must accept the pain as part of the curse brought on from Eve’s sin. The pain of childbirth is because of sin, but should not be looked at as if it was nothing, It was a deadly process. A woman with child was expected to give birth as if it was no big deal, and not something important. A mother must never mention that her child or children are hard to love to anyone. Children were such a blessing, so they were not allowed to say anything that was even slightly negative about it. A mother who claimed she didn’t or could not love her child was deemed as insane and often sent away. These days a mother can do that, it's heartbreaking, but becoming more thought of as normal, To practice contraception was considered a sin and a good wife did not use it. All normal women (women who are not prostitutes in this case) were not allowed to claim they enjoy sex. It did not matter which class they were from, this applied to them all. Those who do claim to enjoy sex were labeled as unnatural because it is meant only for breeding purposes. A man was allowed to enjoy sex and was free to do it with his wife and other women. A wife was not allowed to have sex with a man who is not her husband. Also if a woman found herself pregnant and didn’t want the child, she was not allowed to have an abortion. The only reason a woman would not want a child is the possibility of death from childbirth. According to the church of the time, and the bible, abortion is wrong and seen as murder. The Bible still says it is wrong but our culture thinks differently. These days anyone can do it and it fine and understood. When men are in search of a wife they want her to be of the same class, but not higher than them. To choose a wife from a higher class is degrading to a man and his pride.“They were in fact very fine ladies; not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of making themselves agreeable when they chose it, but proud and conceited. They were rather handsome, had been educated in one of the first private seminaries in town, had a fortune of twenty thousand pounds, were in the habit of spending more than they ought, and of associating with people of rank, and were therefore in every respect entitled to think well of themselves, and meanly of others. They were of a respectable family in the north of England; a circumstance more deeply impressed on their memories than that their brother's fortune and their own had been acquired by trade” (Ch.4) It was acceptable for a man to marry a woman of a lower class but it took away from her value. A woman of a lower class was considered far less than a woman of high stature. "Indeed, Jane, you ought to believe me. No one who has ever seen you together can doubt his affection. Miss Bingley, I am sure, cannot. She is not such a simpleton. Could she have seen half as much love in Mr. Darcy for herself, she would have ordered her wedding clothes. But the case is this: We are not rich enough or grand enough for them" (Elizabeth Bennet Ch. 21) Wealthier women were more likely to marry for love, as long as he was in the same class. Even those of the wealthy class still rarely married for love. To marry for love was a dream that many desired but put aside the desire to appease others wishes. Marriage was a way to gain social standing. A women who were educated were viewed as more desired, because the majority of 18th century women were uneducated. Thus being educated made a female like a prised jewel. Women of nobility, the upper, and middle class were educated, because educating was expensive and not everyone could afford it. Some were educated by their mothers but that didn’t happen as much as it should of. It was easier to hire a governess or send your daughter away for education. The rumors from boarding schools turned many away from sending their daughters there. Thus a Governess was more likely. The women of those classes were able to read, write, speak numerous languages, play an instrument, and were trained in the art of becoming a lady. Every man of the wealthy classes wanted not just a woman but a lady. A lady had to knew everything from being a hostess to being able to properly care for her children. To be educated wasn’t for her benefit, but so that she might be more appealing and more men might want her. Every mother hoped a man who was higher in society would want her daughter. While a man is looking for a wife, he wants someone who is young, but will be able to bear children. If she is unable to bear children, then a man sees no reason for marrying her. The whole point of marriage at that time was to reproduce, or so viewed by society. She should also be decent looking. A man wants a beautiful wife or at least one that every other man envies.”Occupied in observing Mr. Bingley's attentions to her sister, Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend. Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face, then he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing; and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness. Of this she was perfectly unaware; to her he was only the man who made himself agreeable nowhere, and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with.” (Ch. 6) Men wanted a woman who was good enough for him. It looks like the need to appease impossible standards has always been around for women. Each mans standards were slightly different but basically the same. A man wanted a woman who was silent, but when she does speak, it is eloquent. Part of training to become a lady involved learning when to speak and how to speak. Those of higher classes, whether male or female, should have a larger vocabulary than those who are of a lower class and not as highly educated. A christian woman is wanted. She needs to let her love of God be known. She will stand by her husband through what ever he may say. If it goes against what she believes, she still must obey him and must never speak against him. A good wife is wise, but not wise as wise as men. She is not meant to teach but should be wise enough so that she doesn’t get into a trouble. Men are ultimately wiser and know more than women, or so thought of during that time frame. I do believe a man should be wiser than his wife but it doesn’t always happen that way. Women who were known as troublemakers or who are rebellious were frowned upon. Men wanted a woman who was behaved and easily controlled. Women who are troublesome must be punished, along with her husband for not being able to control her. Men were free to have sex with whomever they wanted, but they did not want a wife who had been touched by another man. Only prostitutes were allowed to sleep around and even they had a few problems because of it. A woman who has had sex with a man who is not her husband, was greatly frowned upon and could be punished. A man, however could sleep with women before and even during his marriage and it would be no issue according to society. Around 5-7% ob children were born without a father. The father either didn’t know about them or choose not to see them. A girl with a large dowry was favored over one with a small or no dowery. To remain single, she would be made fun of and pitied by all of those around her. Women who choose not to marry were usually prostitutes or servants. Very few had a different trade. Prostitutes received a lot of money and valuable items. In London there was around 10,000 prostitutes ranging from amateur to professional. When you think of them your first thought is that they were social outcasts, but that is wrong. Some were considered an outcast but it didn’t always occur. Marrying a prostitute however, was considered socially unacceptable. To have a mistress was easily accepted though. Wives didn’t like there husband’s having mistress’s but they had no say in the matter and could not divorce her husband. To be a servant was more frowned upon then prostitutes and were mainly from the lower class. It was hard work as a servant, work was tight and difficult at times. They cleaned houses, washed and mended clothes, while looking after any children then had to bring with them. Widows had the choice to either remarry or not remarry. When her husband died, only a small portion of his wealth, was given to her if he didn’t have any heirs. At most she was given ⅓ of what her husband owned. If her husband had children, then the inheritance would be divided between them or given to the eldest. Those who choose not to remarry were usually supported by their kids, but if that wasn’t an option they would be forced to take up a trade or find some way to receive an income. Often it was needlework or becoming a servant if that desperate. Rich widows were much better provided for than those of any lower class. On average, 35% of women remarried within nine months of his death. Most widows remarried if they could, so they would have someone to provide for them. Women had little to no value during the eighteenth and nineteenth century. They were expected to do so much and to receive no thanks. In fact some of the things they had to do they had no choice in doing so. Men could sleep around and do whatever they pleased as long as they could supply something for the family. Women couldn’t sleep around, and were expected to do so much. Women had a huge role, but got no recognition for it. It was expected of them. To not do so, they would be punished. Whether married or unmarried, life was not easy. We often think they didn’t have it too bad. Most like to think that it was hard, but easily bearable. If I was to be placed in that time, I probably wouldn’t make it. If I was raised then, I wouldn’t know any differently. I’m so thankful to be born in the twenty-first century.